Self-destructive behavior

When we are so used to things being not as we want them, it can be difficult to accept them as they move toward what we want.

There are moments when our success or even the mere thought of relief from this burden of worry being lifted can cause anxiety. We may find ourselves behaving in a self-destructive manner in order to stay in this place of "comfort," although it is unpleasant. As we lose weight we binge, as our clutter disappears we put things in front of the door, as we achieve one thing we find more things at which we are failing...

What to do? Is it fair to say, "Deal with success" when we apparently cannot?

My friend gave me good advice on this matter today. Keep switching things around, he said. Don't stop moving. For example, he is writing his dissertation. Sometimes he writes in the computer lab, sometimes in a coffee shop, sometimes with a pen and paper. Anytime he senses that things are less than ideal, he changes the environment for his work.

If we lose weight and we want to binge, perhaps we can clean the apartment instead.

In lieu of confronting our fears and successes, let's try distracting ourselves.

Good luck..I'll need it!

Difficult...

It is not easy to do all we must do.

Nonetheless, put away one single thing right now.

That is all.

Tip for today

Do the dishes well, put them away and get back to me.

Limits

It's true that there is only so much we can do. But where does that "so much" end?

Allowing for the reality of external limitations, how much are we really doing?

I doubt I'm doing a fraction of what I could. However, instead of viewing myself and situations like a bundle of wasted opportunity, I will simply ask myself, "Can I really not do this?"

Honesty in such matters can be tricky, but if we really can do it, let's!

Act as if

Today someone said the phrase, "Act as if..." She had had a hard time getting out of bed today, but she decided to act as if she hadn't. She acted as if all were fine, though it wasn't. Not only did this inspire me, I realized how existential it is- we are not limited by who we were yesterday.

Today, I will act as if I were a person who gets places early, carries little baggage, and is cheerful and a good listener. Today will be a clutter-free day.

Act as if!

It must get done

One of the main differences between youth and adulthood is responsibility, a truth many of us have trouble digesting.

This past weekend a friend spoke these wise but rather harsh words to me, "You have to do what you have to do before you get to do what you want." I realized how guilty I have been of not behaving as such.

Today I finally did what I had to do, and the freedom is delightful.

Really, life is so short.

Let's do what we must now in order that we truly deserve to what we want, and will be able to enjoy it.

Why I am not other Organizers

Someone recently emailed me this link:

http://newyork.metromix.com/style/article/closet-case/253539/content

There is this part of the interview:

What’s the strangest question anyone’s asked you about clutter?
“Why do I have to let go of my child’s umbilical cord that I have here in a Ziploc bag on my refrigerator door?

Now, my goal is not to speak ill of others, but the strangest question to me is, why on earth is an Organizer forcing someone to get rid of that?!

I am not other Organizers...and should it be relevant, I write this tempted to save any umbilical cords that may come my way.

Keep Going!

Today I was thinking about the topic for today's blog, and I decided on the notion of continuing forward, no matter what. Thinking hard, I nodded to myself at the wisdom of my future writing. Upon arriving outside, I realized I had left today's pressing errand up the many-flighted haul. Looking down at my six layers and two bags and sweating in anticipation, I considered avoiding the climb for tomorrow.

However! I imagined the stress of not having completed the errand, the ensuing relief upon its completion, and not least of all, the topic of this blog....

There are different kinds of exercise (mental and physical) involved in doing what you need to do. It may not always be as convenient as we'd like, but the necessity does not go away. The reward is particularly great when we persevere despite our inclination to avoid.

It's not easy, but keep going, and I shall try to do the same!

Dealing with the Mail

Yesterday's client was frustrated about the ever-returning pile of mail on the kitchen table.

"It starts," she told me, "and it just gets worse."

1. Separate- We separated out what was hers, her husband's, recycle, and shred.

2. Recycle/Shred

3. Separate further- We separated her file pile from her to-do pile, and the same for her husband's pile. A common pending pile emerged.

4. Do what's easy- The pending pile found a home with an already existing pending pile nearby.

5. Search elsewhere/condense- Upon going through all the papers on her desk in the other room, all fit into one of the piles.

6. Separate again- within the file pile, there were those papers with preexisting files, and those which needed new files made for them.

7. Check for strays- in pausing to think, one often inadvertently creates a new pile or places things in unrelated places. Look again with fresh eyes to see if there is anything else that sneaked by the sorting process, or that suddenly shouts that it does not belong.

How many piles are left?

My client had four: Husband, Preexisting files, Create-a-file, To-do.
Why was there mail on the kitchen table?

Two reasons: it's the first place to put things upon entering the house, and there is no real filing cabinet/system large enough for all files. Both of these reasons can be dealt with. Although the mail did not magically go away, much of the pile did, making the chores of filing and doing much less daunting.

As far as the furniture/lack of comprehensive system is concerned, to be continued....!

As simple as...

"I have no room in my kitchen," he said, chopping vegetables on top of the microwave, somewhere around hunched shoulder-height.

We looked at the items in his kitchen.

"Do you use this here?" I asked, pointing to the empty paper towel holder on the counter.

"Well, it goes there, but I can't use it, because everytime I do, it falls on the floor. So I leave it there, but tend to put the paper towel roll wherever I leave it..."

We moved the paper towel holder next to the sink where it filled a spot too small for anything else, but was supported from falling.

Watching him chop vegetables in his newly-freed up precious counter space, I felt my own shoulders relax.

Sometimes the tiniest things make all the difference. We may need new and bigger kitchens, but there's a good chance we just need to reorganize the awesome kitchens we already have.

To the smallest of adjustments with the largest results!